Creative Bleed (Flavor of the Week)

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Creative Bleed

The pen is my sword, I keep the blade sharp/ to stab my own heart/ and watch the depths of my soul leak across the sheets/ call it creative bleed

I was twelve years old in Lanier Middle School, frustrated with life. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t understand the meaning, purpose or why to life. I was not content with going to school, getting an education, starting a family, retiring and then dying. I continuously asked myself, what’s the point of that? Why are we trapped in this redundant cycle of reproduction?

I rebelled against school; I rebelled because of its contribution to the Cycle. And this is when the pain began. I was such a happy child but this is when the reality of life began to hit me and soon, instead of playing and imagining games, I would be set in a system of just making a living and reproducing life. This is when I became an artist.

At twelve years old in the library of Lanier Middle School, I began to write. I wrote my first heartfelt poem entitled Life. A friend close by picked it up and read the poem then partially astonished asked, “Did you write this?” He was not astonished due to my writing skills or lack thereof but it was because at that time in my life I was known for being a goof ball. I had a quirky personality and I loved to do anything zany or crazy to make people laugh. But for over a year, the pain had been boiling up inside and it simply came out as poetry.

Creative Bleed is the title of a lyric from my book Soul of Suw: World of Darkness. At this moment in the story, the protagonist has an experience that leads him to a greater awareness of self and his place in life. That is art; it is a mirror, a reflection of us on the inside brought out for the world to see. Art was/is the original brain scan; the way we come to know our minds, our psyches, ourselves.

We confuse religion; we confuse mythologies. Joseph Campbell said it best in The Power of Myths when he elaborated on the idea that myths/myths in religion are psychological portraits of internal struggles and realities. They are a reflection of these psychic (not to be confused with otherworldly or paranormal) energies that move and operate within us on a daily basis. And it is these energies that direct the course and actions we take in our lives. This is where the idea of archtypes comes into play on psychological/literary level. Whether the energies are sexual, vengeful, joyous or bored, myths are the closes we have come to a physical window for these mental perceptions.

Myths teach us to become familiar with the archetypes, to understand them while being a guide showing us how to operate with them throughout the course of our lives. They are a proto-map to dealing with and engaging life. But myths also are a form of art; religion is the art of life in practice.

Inspired by a difficult situation a friend was going through with the oft shady music industry, I wrote Creative Bleed to the Lil Wayne song She Will. But as I revisited the lyrics a few years later while I was doing my latest draft for World of Darkness, I realized that there was more to the verse that perfectly applied not only to my story but also to my life in general. I decided to include it in the book because it fit well with the ordeals the protagonist was enduring. But as I looked closer, I realized the verse encapsulates the spirit of an artist; the pain filled spirit that was in me all those years ago in Lanier Middle School. It touches on the world in which myths come to reflect and the energy that acts on a ‘creative’ compelling them to express this feeling inside. It is a world full of emotions, thoughts and creative energy that comes to life whenever I put pen to paper…

The pen is my sword I keep the blade sharp/ to stab my own heart/ and watch the depths of my soul leak across the sheets/ call it creative bleed/ cuz no amount of alcohol can intoxicate like the mind fused with a muse/ I won’t abuse or misuse/ this cursed task of manifesting an idea across the world’s threshold/ with a crippled soul grasping to the last glimmer of light to behold/ watching all of those/ embracing what they achieved with their essence sold/ translation, they got what they wanted at the cost of what they needed/ dog eat dog thievin’/ feelin’ their lack is what they’re stealin’/ a bit of advice when it comes to livin’/ be wary of what you desire cuz that’s what you’re becomin’/ empty goals can’t fill full empty souls/ charging others gold to cross the bridge of life acting like trolls/ we all want to be stars but if the gravity of our lives proves to be too much then all we’re becoming is a black hole

If you enjoyed this post then you should check out more Flavor of the Week post or sign up for the weekly updates that tackle a variety of issues including current events, music, creative inspirations and ideas. Also, click on the SHOP tab up top to purchase a copy of World of Darkness, the story in which the Creative Bleed verse appears.

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